Unbent: The Outside

“Wait…are you wearing a concert tee and pearls?!?”

My response: “Yep. Take a closer look.”

I snapped and sent this pic mid-Zoom after someone DM’d me that exact question. It cracked me up, because, there I was, on a professional meeting, rocking a Gorillaz tee, layered pearls, and a blazer. Like I was headed to both a board meeting and a backstage pass situation.

But here’s the thing: this isn’t just a fashion choice; it’s a values choice. It’s a glimpse into something deeper: how we signal who we are.

Like many, I spent years trying to fit into corporate expectations. (Emphasis on “trying” - I was always better at bending the rules than following them.) Dress codes, tone-downs, and the “let’s not ruffle feathers” approach felt like a costume: safe, yes, but also stifling. Eventually, I realized I wasn’t here to ruffle feathers, I was here to remind people they had wings.

Now, I wear what feels like me. Or at least, I try to. It’s still a work in progress. After more than a year of transitions - weight loss, career pivots, life pivots, and more dizzying pivots on all fronts - my closet sometimes feels like a cryptic puzzle. Some days, I’m all about structured and polished. Other days, it’s all about bold and quirky. And sometimes…it’s both. Like this day.

It’s easy to dismiss this as vanity. Clothes are just clothes, right? Except they’re not. Our outfits are like job titles, LinkedIn headlines, or those little badges at a conference. They broadcast a message: “Here’s who I am” or “Here’s how I want you to see me.”

The problem? Sometimes those signals turn into full-blown performances, like a one-person Broadway show called “Who I Think I Should Be”. We lose touch with what's underneath: the values and truths that define us. This is as true outside of the workplace as it is in. We spend so much time perfecting the costume that we forget to ask: Who am I, actually? And how do I want to feel, not just look?

So here’s my nudge for you: What if you let your outside reflect your inside, even just 10% more? Because authenticity isn’t a vibe, it’s a strategy.

And sometimes, it starts with a T-shirt and pearls.

Donna Snyder